mental link

[adamance]

WISDOM passing on her legacy, her knowledge, and showing a willingness for more	COMPASSION looking upon her people with care, with hope, and understanding a different layer of strength
STRENGTH strength is more than just mere words or mere actions—it is everything	PURPOSE being born for this

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

Day 165, mid-morning

[regalled]

[It is unlike him to do this in this fashion, but he recognizes the necessity of it. Still, when he reaches out it is unlike the gentle brush of Cathaway, uncolored by emotion, an empty space that seemed to gape, somehow nearly as unsettling as a mind too bare. His words are preceded by the obviousness of his attention, an anticipation, the mental equivalent to clearing his throat. And the words- stony and without warmth or comfort, unyielding and stern. He will not react to interruption. He won't even hear it.]

There are many things to discuss with you. [You- you, all of you, everyone he addressed- the clear knowledge that it was not a personal message, but a shared one.] This mission was a failure. Do not think to see it as anything less. The simplest of exercises intended only to allow those unaccustomed to gain some small experience with unfamiliar places. A harmless excursion.

[There's a pause, like a breath, a cold wind going colder.]

It was my failure that I saw you as anything but children, incapable of understanding that your choices have consequences. It is not a mistake I will make again. Your actions have proven you to be irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish. And as a result one of your own has died, for nothing. Those in his brood have now lost something irreplaceable. Do not imagine this feeling will go, do not imagine this emptiness will be filled by another. It will not. You will never be as strong as you could have been with him.

[It is simple fact, even as they grew they would lend each other strength. Now they had one less to draw from. There was a potential they would never reach.]

Hosts are lost. This is the reality of our situation, but Adam Parker did not die because we sought to strike a blow against the ones who hunt us. He did not even die because he made a foolish mistake. He died because you made a selfish choice. Remember this, your decisions effect more than you. Even your own life is not just yours any longer. You should be at least responsible enough not to drag those who should be able to rely on to their death.

[There is little point to this, he knows. Those that had behaved poorly would not listen to words, and if they had not yet learned a lesson there would be more loss and more suffering before they did. Still, this is too soon for this.]

There will be some time before you will be sent on your first true mission. I suggest you use it to better yourselves, for all of your sake.

[And the connection drops- cleanly as if he had flipped a switch. His mind was still there, as it always was, but distant, uninviting. This was never meant to be a dialogue.]

[adamance]

[Irritation runs clear at first, but Lexa is logical enough to know that he doesn't speak to her. She did not kill anyone. She acted in a way that gave her the knowledge necessary to move forward, though it was largely done in a way that let her figure out things as she went. Her only "reckless" action was done in a way that would endanger no others, and she used her skills. She sought help when she required it. And when she needed a place to better apply herself, she visited it.

But she's still irritated. Being spoken down to isn't something she welcomes easily, especially given their previous interactions. She reconnects with him, doing what she can to keep others out. But it's a clumsy, uncertain connection, one that she holds for along moment before she speaks. The last thing Lexa wants right now is to seem clumsy and uncertain. It will undermine her words.]

( You're right. The fault lies on you for not preparing us better in advance. There was little organization on your part. More than one person out there lacked the skills necessary to know what to do. ) [If it was just her lacking the technological know-how, it'd be one thing. But it was more than just her, and the previous training exercises had nothing to do with what lied ahead for them. There was, from what she can see, little preparation. It would be good for them to think on their feet, but this took things a step further.]

( I'd think you'd have a plan to prevent further deaths. One that doesn't involve rebuking and treating the other Hosts as children. I doubt I'm the only one who's put it together as to why you're the only two Hosts who awaited us. Many have died, haven't they? And still, you blame those who die while claiming to blame yourself. )

[To a degree, she does blame herself for not asserting herself further. But she has plans, and she'll have to enact them.]

( You will not presume to address us like this and make us all feel the guilt that you feel. If you wish to lead, lead. But this will not happen again. You will not speak to us like this again. )

late day 166;

[narcissithstic]

Where are you.

[adamance]

[It's abrupt. But she had been waiting.]

( The garden. )

day 167

[whowhatnow]

[Hey, Lexa, if it isn't your favorite brood member! He's totally your favorite. (Correction, he thinks he's everyone's favorite.) He certainly sounds pleased with himself.]

Hey, Lexa! Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

[adamance]

[What an abrupt question. It takes her a moment.

(He's not her favorite, but then again, she doesn't have a favorite.)]

We didn't have much use for clocks. None of them worked.

[So ... no.]

[erbier]

( I spoke with the Prince, I do not know how well he heard me, but I have made the attempt. )

[adamance]

( Did he speak back? ) [Hey, there's a chance he didn't.]

day :010, post blast.

[deployed]

[ In the wake of the blast, after surveying the rubble, Bellamy's thoughts stray to Lexa. Making actual contact is an accident; Bellamy's control is slim-to-none, and the urge to reassure himself of her well being has him accidentally reaching out to brush her mind. There's no way she'd have been affected by the blast, he knows that logically, but Bellamy very rarely capitulates to logical course of action initially. (Maybe he'd absorbed more of Sam's distress than he'd intended.)

The contact is brief; Bellamy's mind connects long enough to leave an impression, to absorb the sensation of her thoughts, before he realizes what he's done and scrambles to break the connection. It's just enough to be a disruption, particularly considering Bellamy's inability to make a clean break. Whoops. ]

[adamance]

( Subtlety is not your strong suit. )

[The directness of her reply is meant to be contradictory. There's a sharpness there, but it's apparent that there's some restraint to it. Some. Bellamy has seen her drive her sword through the chest of one of her most cherished friends and advisers.

She could definitely be meaner right now.]

after symbiote power rank up yoooo

[frakkincylons]

( I think I can do it now, access your chip. I just need to touch it, no wires or anything, doesn't need to come out of you. Where's it located in your body? )

[adamance]

( The back of my neck. There is a tattoo marking its presence there, and a scar that runs through it.

What changed? )

before the tournament started super backdating powers go

[inflori]

( Hey. Are you there?

You know Angel pretty well, don't you? )

[adamance]

( Fairly well. ) [Sans any understanding about her weird patience for individuals that Lexa isn't patient about.

But oh well.]

( What would you like to know? )

DAY :32

[onemind]

[A message pings in Lexa's extranet inbox from Floran, Adetkunbo's assistant. It reads:]

Cheers! I told you I wouldn't let Kun forget about his promise. We've organized for you and your friend to have a meeting with Kun and Miss Frey tomorrow afternoon. We'll send a car over to your residence at 1100. Don't eat a big breakfast!

Hugs!,
Floran Madish

[As promised, the following day a black car arrives at Bearings. Floran herself is in the backseat, an android behind the wheel.]

day :029 a little bit backdated.

[deployed]

( We should talk. Do you have time? )

[adamance]

( This is about John Murphy. )

[Lexa is Lexa. She likes making it clear that she's in the Know. Besides, her people tortured the boy. It may cause problems down the line.]

( He went straight to the roof. Let's leave the Bearings. I assume we'll need privacy. )

[Because the roof is her preferred spot.]

like day 33

[whowhatnow]

( Heeeeeeeyyyyy, Lexa. Sorry. This is kind of random, I know. I don't even really do this that often, I don't use the mental links a lot, but... )

[You can almost hear the mental sigh.]

( This whole hivemind thing we all have. I'm...scared of it, if I have to be completely honest. )

[adamance]

[It is surprising to some degree, but Nathaniel is the type to come out of nowhere with a remark like this. She's accustomed to him, even if she will never ... adapt to that fully.]

( Would you prefer to speak somewhere where we use our voices? )

[Far from a rejection, there's the sense through the link that she understands. Lexa is the least reassuring person alive, but she at least is pretty good at fortune cookie wisdom when she feels strongly about something.]

before day 007

[inflori]

( What type of shit do you eat? )

[adamance]

( Why are you asking? )

knock knock

[deployed]

[ The disruption comes in two waves: Ilde's vicious fury, and Lexa's answering anger rising in answer. Bellamy's attention turns to her without hesitation; it manifests like a clasp of his hand on hers, lightly tugging. ]

[adamance]

[At first, she thinks to ignore him. Right now, the last thing Lexa wants is to feel as if she needs to rely on someone else. Seeing Ilde in so much pain when she hasn't even lost her brood—and to know that Kylo Ren's loss must have been the catalyst to all of this—irritates her. Irritation is a selfish, individualistic feeling. She feels the loss of her brood greatly. She can't help it.

But it's that desperate need that brings someone to self-destruction that frustrates her more. And she knows Bellamy is no different in some ways, even if she favors him.

It's the favor that gives her pause, half-way to her quarters, fingers spread against the wall beside her.]

( Bring water to my room. ) [A pause, before she takes an uneasy step forward.] ( Please. ) [Tempering it with that word seems like a good idea right now.]

after Day 34, I know you're on hiatus so no rush!

[decommission]

[ A light brush against her mind, a polite do you have time to talk? ]

[adamance]

( Yes. )

[It's clear, but with a sense of beckoning. She'd prefer to do it in person if possible. Her mind sends the image of her room through the link. Though she is still hesitant to request that most join her there, it does have some sense of privacy.]

right after murphy's power pinged

[deployed]

( We need to leave. Something's happening. )

[adamance]

( I'm currently involved with an aspect of our mission. )

[Not that she denies the self-preservation aspect of his remarks.]

hatch -> onwards

[deployed]

[ The Darkling slipped into a coma and ripped a hole in Bellamy in the process. It's inescapable. And it's exacerbated Bellamy's already poor control. Since the Hatch, he's nudged at Lexa's mind sporadically. The narrowing of his attention presents itself as the skimming of fingers, done as absent and casually as if Bellamy were checking the contents of his pocket and reassuring himself of an important item. It's a disruption. There's always a brief sense of apology when he catches himself, but nothing verbalized. Sorry, Lexa. ]

day 55; late, after the mission briefing

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ When Sam's mind brushes against hers, it's distant, polite. Tinged with a faint hint of apology for reaching out to her like this - he never has before, but his conversation with Cathaway feels important.

There's a clear do you have a minute to talk? ]

[adamance]

[The only thing that comes for the apology is acknowledgement before she goes on to say:]

( What is it? )

[Because she's certain that there's a reason. Lexa's only casual relationship is really only with Bellamy, and, at times, with Petre.]

DAY :055; after after after

[wille]

[ Far be it from Misato to discount someone due to their age when her weapons of choice have been children, but Lexa exceeds even that. A cool head and a steady hand. Her mind is like a hand outstretched to grip a shoulder firmly, a pledge, a pact. ]

( I believe in you. If there's anything you need, just ask. )

[adamance]

[There are a number of ways in which Lexa's wisdom is more the wisdom of her people, rather than anything that has a place here. But thanks to the Flame and her experiences, "wise beyond her years" isn't a misnomer. At least for her. Titus had been ready to praise her for her wisdom (as long as she fell in line with his beliefs, of course—and sometimes when she didn't).

The big thing to take away from the above is this: Lexa is assured of her wisdom. She hardly needs validation. So, it feels strange to receive it out of nowhere.]

( It's not that I think I'm undeserving of your praise. ) [See?] ( But I have to say that I'm ... surprised by it. What inspired this, Misato? )

post briefing.

[deployed]

[ knock knock. bellamy needs to talk to you, lexa. ]

[adamance]

( Yes? )

[Not that Lexa minds the nudge before the communication, but there's always a hint of impatience at not knowing why a conversation is occurring.]

clarkepocalypse.

[deployed]

[ There are no words, but there's also nothing yielding or polite in the contact. He won't be ignored, regardless of what she's doing at the moemnt. Pay attention. ]

[adamance]

[Unaware of the source of the pressing matter, she replies with a chiding feeling. This is a rebuke.]

( You know how to use words. It might be time to start. )

[Bellamy is such an urgent, constant in her mind, that sometimes she wants to get on with what he's worried about. Just sometimes, okay?]

[wille]

[ She has suffered distractions. Hitches in the plan starting with Lavellan's death, now concisely packed away and stored in her mind like any other memory dried of sentiment, and everything that hinges upon that. The person himself was unimportant to her, but he stands as evidence for how inextricable each person in this web has become to her. She turns that into reason for renewed focus in the mission. And so, with barely concealed insistence: ]

( Busy with the basket weaving? )

[adamance]

( No. )

[Abrupt and short. Things are still discordant between them, after all. Though her issues don't really lie with Misato and more with those from home. Her distance from the Nest lately has been by obligation: partake in the festivities, allow people to admire them as participants on this ridiculous pilgrimage, and cope with the aftermath of Lavellan's death.

And it wasn't the death that was the problem, so much as what it unearthed afterward.

Lexa liked keeping people unaware.]

( Have you made any progress here? Beyond what you apparently did already. ) [A hint of judgment, but what's a conversation with Lexa without that?]

around day 28ish?

[raw]

( Hey. )

[ He doesn't wait for her to respond; he's written out what he wants to say like an email rather than a conversation, because it feels weird to just reach out to someone otherwise. ]

( You seemed like you we're pretty focused on the mission, when I first showed up. (Which wasn't that long ago, I guess.) So there's this kid who I'm linked to, my uh, a new broodmate. Bakugou. And his attitude is... that he can "complete the mission" if we all stay out of his way. I'm worried he's gonna do something stupid, that compromises all of us. )

[ And he's coming to Lexa for advice, basically. ]

[adamance]

( That's because he will. Has he offered any indications of what he intends to do? )

[That's not to say that Lexa hasn't considered "completing the mission" herself. But she wouldn't do it without informing the rest of the Nest so they could evacuate.]