adamance | mental link

( Okay. We need someone who knows something about doing this with some kind of medical safety, but we can do this.

I got better. Practice makes perfect. Or, not so handicapped, I guess. )

( I will ask around and see if any of the Hosts have that training. I've been considering finding out what we all can do to better ourselves in the future.

Does it have to do with the symbiote? )

( Yeah. Cathaway told me - train with the symbiote and accepting the bond, and that'll increase the power or your abilities.

Having to plug in was getting really annoying, so I basically just trained any time I was at that couch while we've been here. )

( It helps that you have a far less destructive ability.

Does it bother you to accept your bond so easily? ) [It is, after all, another living creature.]

Edited 2016-08-03 05:55 (UTC)

( True. Not so obvious when I'm training if no one's listening. ) [ because he does yammer like fuck. but he isn't blowing anything up. ]

( In that I'll eventually start forgetting things? It does. ) [ but that's something he has a timeline for, and a plan. it's acceptable, as things are now. ] ( In having something else living in me? No, not really. I've gotten kinda used to my head being crowded. )

( Precisely. Training mine will likely take the Station's facilities. ) [And that's if she chooses. She can see the value of her ability quite easily. Having a built in weapon will aid her in the coming days.

However, there is the flip side to this: what it means to give up a part of herself. To become someone else's weapon.]

( It is more the former point that concerns me than the latter. I do not wish to become like Nirad and Carata ... or even Cathaway, estranged from the person I am now. ) [Voicing it comes easily. She almost sounds detached.

But frankly, it terrifies her.]

( What is yours? ) [ they could maybe find a place. he could think on it, at least. ]

( Yeah, I know the feeling. But, way I look at it now... I'm done, back home. Curtain down, no encore. If I'm here, I'm here for a reason. Right now, that's getting rid of this thing that's a threat to everyone's worlds, and taking care of these people I'm bonded with. ) [ that had been a big part of his decision not to just flounce himself out an airlock and continue on the path he'd been on before, going to be with kara. like he'd told her, see you on the other side. the massive void it leaves in a brood when one dies, he can't do that to them. ]

( That thing I had you ink on my arm? When I start having trouble remember what those words and numbers mean, that's when I know it's time to go. Until then, I'm doing what I can to fill whatever purpose I ended up here for. ) [ it's not that he isn't scared out of his mind to lose any of it, but which is the route that he should go down? which would he be able to feel proud of, when he moves on to be with kara? after all, what'll be left of damage to his mind when all he consists of is his soul? impermanent.

but that's a lot more existential than he generally gets out loud. being one with all of time and creation sort of does that to you sometimes. ]

( It appears that my skin becomes inflammatory. I've only tested it briefly. ) [For hopefully obvious reasons. The last thing any of them need is for her to kill everyone because she accidentally set everything on fire.

Though she did consider burning Rhys once. Whoops.]

( "Time to go." Is it possible that you can clarify what you mean with that? ) [There are a number of different interpretations, and it's clear that she's evading some of what he's said. Yes, they are all done back home. But there are certain suspicions in place that she isn't fond of, certain discrepancies that don't please her.

But as much as she realizes she's fond of Sam, she's not about to express her suspicions to him. They're locked away, far from this conversation.]

( That’s pretty badass. Damn, I’m kinda jealous. But I can see what you mean with having trouble getting a place to train it. )

[ Sam’s making a mental note to go looking for facilities somewhere, maybe a warehouse, somewhere abandoned and out of the way. Maybe a space they could rent, so long as it isn’t monitored.

That question’s the hard one, isn’t it? It’s always hard to let go, even if there’s nothing left for you. Sam had been in some measure blessed to have done so much with his life, and found such a resolved peace in his end, but those things are so few and far between. ]

( Die. ) [ there isn’t a morbid tone to it, just an honest one. ] ( You know, who knows. Maybe we’ll beat this thing and everyone’ll get to go right back to where they came from, and maybe that should be your focus - doing what you can to make it safe for you to leave.

For me, though, I was on my way out, and that’s where I’m still planning to go. So, I might not have much reassuring to tell you on my end of things. )

( It caused a great deal of fatigue the first time I used it. I worry for that reason, as well, though I have reason to believe that may be because of my lack of practice. ) [That is how training has always been for her. If she utilizes a new muscle in a particular activity, it will grow tired and tight until she grows used to activating it. She may not know science as well as many of the other Hosts, but she knows the human body, having trained herself and others for countless years.

And she knows that fire leads to water being stripped away. That, too, makes sense to her.

As it is, she presses on to consider his words.]

( It may be that you weren't meant to die. We are all here to survive to some degree. I've always accepted that my death would come when it was my time, but I've learned that in another iteration of my world, my death did come. We are all living out an alternate outcome to some degree.

But I believe you and I may be similar in that we will live out our lives for our purpose. Whatever that may be. Mine has always been with my people, and I have already had one of them turn up here. I would prefer that no others are threatened. I would think the same of you, especially if you viewed yourself on your way out, ready to accept that your work was done. ) [She may be projecting a bit, but her previous conversations have led her to these assumptions.]

( Makes sense. I felt like I slept for days the first time I tried mine. ) [ Then again, his first venture into it was a bit more intense that he probably should’ve tried. It’s good Lexa’s taking it slow, especially considering it’s such a potentially destructive power, and Sam makes a mental note to skip the net for places she might be able to train in, away from people who might witness. ]

( If you mean that it was part of fate that I was brought here, yes, I agree. But I don’t think I’ll be going back to where I came from. )

[ it had just all seemed so… final. His world was long, long gone, and a new one was started, everything from the past he represented wiped away like dust from a chalkboard, and rightfully so. It had felt… right. To be taking his exit, to be leaving with Kara. That’s all more complicated than he really wants to get into, but there’s a vague sense of it in the link between them - both the certainty, and the peace with it. It’s nothing he feels sad or cheated over. After all, death is hardly the end. ]

( Your loyalty and perseverance is admirable, Lexa. Not everyone would commit their lives so much to looking after others like that. ) [ the first week in the nest, he’d been selfish. Just wanted to leave, go into that next life with Kara and have his peace with her. But it’d be abandoning everything they’d worked for, and this chance to protect it. ]

Edited 2016-08-21 01:35 (UTC)

[Her mind flickers briefly to Bellamy, to Titus, and to so many others. The pressure placed on her even before she had Ascended has been heavy, and it's led to her making some ruthless choices along the way. Bellamy has been on the receiving end of that. Clarke, too. But Titus thought it necessary, and had he been there with her on the battlefield that day, he would have encouraged it.

Then again, killing Nia had been a betrayal in a different way, taking the blood that was long owed to her. But she knows that she moved to move Roan into her favor, rectifying and changing everything with the Ice Nation in one fell swoop.

She seems to send along a hint of disagreement.]

( It would only be admirable if I cared about more than my people. Yes, they number in the thousands, but do not think me some hero of legend. I don't want you to have the wrong idea about me. ) [She will screw everyone over in this Nest if it permanently protects her people, sans Bellamy, who would somehow be worked into the deal.

And if it's hundreds of iterations of her world that she's protecting?

Then she'd still do it without thinking twice.]

WISDOM passing on her legacy, her knowledge, and showing a willingness for more	COMPASSION looking upon her people with care, with hope, and understanding a different layer of strength
STRENGTH strength is more than just mere words or mere actions—it is everything	PURPOSE being born for this

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