adamance | mental link

[The only thing that comes for the apology is acknowledgement before she goes on to say:]

( What is it? )

[Because she's certain that there's a reason. Lexa's only casual relationship is really only with Bellamy, and, at times, with Petre.]

[ Straight to the point - he can appreciate that about her, even if there's times that he wishes he knew her a little better. ]

( I spoke with Cathawy after the briefing. She really drove the point about keeping our cover home - said if we get discovered by the Enemy, they're not gonna risk the Enemy being able to follow us back to the Station. There's not gonna be transport waiting or a mad dash back if things go bad this time; we're on our own. )

( She did speak as if one day, those who were willing to be caught in the throng of making a mistake would eventually lose their life. )

[It's something she treated as an option to rid themselves of Kylo Ren and Ilde if they ever posed to be too much of a problem. Thankfully (especially for this mission), they're not forced to deal with such individuals.]

( Does it concern you that they're willing to throw the entirety of us to the wolves? ) [Because to have this condition is to assume that they're bound to fail.]

[ That doesn't surprise him. Honestly - it had to happen eventually. They can't keep getting bailed out, even if Sam does question why they keep sending some people on these missions. ]

( Only in that I got a pretty vested interest in most of us making it out of this. I'm a little pissed off that they insist on sending people with no training or no ability to work with others, but mostly I just appreciate the warning. It ain't my first time going somewhere with no extraction plan. )

( If it comes down to a matter of preserving our lives through destroying the planet, I hope you're prepared to make that decision. It might be up to you to ensure that the others can handle such a decision. )

[Lexa knows that Bellamy and Murphy will take on that burden. That doesn't mean that she trusts the others with that.]

[ There's a discontented hum across their link. It's not a choice he'd ever make himself, but he also knows that it's one that so many others in the Nest will, and that in the end he might not get to be the one to make the call. ]

( I talked to Bellamy about this - honestly, I think if it gets to the point that destroying the planet is our only option? It's not gonna be up to us. I think they'll destroy the planet with us on it rather than pick us up first. ) [ There's a pause, and then, quieter and with a little more determination, ] ( I'll do what I need to in order to protect my people. )

( You can say that, but I'm under the impression that you've never been forced to do precisely that. ) [It's all but a casual admission that she has. It's one thing to say a thing and another to have experience doing it.] ( We should have a plan to act on that from the beginning, so that we're not left to die.

I don't intend for this to be my final stand. )

[At one time, Lexa would have accepted the moment of her death. Being in the Nest has changed her, has made her realize that she's literally living the second opportunity at life now.

She isn't about to let it slip from her fingers.]

( You mean you assumed you know things about me without finding out if it was true, unless this is you asking? ) [ There's no irritation to his side of the mental link, though, just something closer to being resigned. ] ( Before I got here, I was broken out of an underwater prison in the middle of the ocean where I was put for doing exactly that. I've been sworn to protect people for a long damn time. )

[ Granted, the people he'd been sworn to protect had been most of the damn world, but he'd still broken UN treaties, committed war crimes, made a call that landed most of his team in the same place with him, and ended up a wanted fugitive in at least a hundred countries. But none of that is the point. ]

( It won't be mine, either. We can figure who's gonna be most likely to slip up and support them, we come up with a plan to figure out which faction is which, and if it comes down to it - we can make sure we got a way to get off that planet before the Enemy can track us. )

( It's not an assumption, Sam. Bellamy and I know what lengths we've gone to in order to protect our people. I'd be surprised if your actions are on the same level. ) [It's not even a measuring stick to make herself seem superior. She knows the choices she's made are ones that others can't make. She knows that she has the ability to emotionally remove herself from that.]

( I believe all of what you've just suggested is something that sounds like contingencies to keep from destroying this world. If Cathaway is leaving us out to die, we'll have to be prepared for this being a test. ) [Lexa's been aware of that potential test. Or rather: she's been paranoid that it might come sooner rather than later.]

[ Sam's pretty sure that's the definition of assumption, actually, not knowing something for sure but acting on it anyway. It's dangerous to assume you know what people are capable of without really knowing who they are, even in a hive mind - maybe especially in a hive mind - but Sam's not gonna argue it. That's not why he contacted her. ]

( It sounds like trying to come up with a plan to complete this mission without any of us dying for it, Lexa, I ain't interested in rehashing that argument again. You saw how it went - the people who're for it are fixated on it and act like it's the only option, the people who're against it act like if they just ignore it they won't have to deal with a contingency plan. No one's willing to listen to each other. )

[ It's one of the main reasons why they struggle so much with missions, in Sam's opinion, on top of their lack of direction and training. But he's caught by her last comment. ]

( What do you mean by a test? )

( If it comes down to keeping us alive, we won't have time for a conversation. ) [That seems to say everything that needs to be said, in her opinion. Lexa is used to acting for the betterment of her people without asking for the opinions of others. She knows she should be more mindful of them, but ruthlessness isn't a bad thing if it keeps these people alive.

Her people.

For so long, she had been determined not to think of them that way, but does she really have a choice anymore? And when had that changed?

(Yes, that's better left for another time.)]

( As for the test ... Cathaway has offered little about the Enemy. I have memories. Images she's offered me. But it's apparent they know more than they've offered. We're leaving our training. Now, it's time to prove ourselves. )

[ No, no they won't. He suspects if it comes down to that, many of them will act as they see fit - and he can only hope it won't be in ways that compromise each other. A well oiled team or a single, united people they are not.

If it comes down to it, Sam won't interfere in something that will get them out safe. ]

( Some training. ) [ Some of them haven't been on a mission at all, many of them only Waypoint Shril, and a few of them had only just begun to actually have any kind of training at all, let alone in training together. For all that Sam had started trying to change that.

He doesn't disagree, though. The opposite, actually - there's a hum of acknowledgement across the link. Put in that perspective, it does seem like a test. Hearing she has at least a little glimpse about the Enemy, however... ]

( Would you share them with me? )

( I think you'll find what I have to offer disappointing. )

[That's not a "no," but the missions she's glimpsed are really no different from what they witnessed before they brought here.]

( At this point I'll take anything I can get. )

( We'll need to meet. I also won't be able to offer it all at once. )

[She is not Cathaway. It had taken a strain on her to offer it all, and Lexa has no wish to push herself so greatly.]

[ Fair enough, and Sam leaves the impression of easy acceptance across their connection. He's in no rush; he can wait for the whole thing. ]

( Where are you? It might not be nothing more than what you already know, but I can share the few things I've learned about the Station. )

[ Not what he'd intended when he contacted her to relay his conversation with Cathaway, and perhaps not exactly the best timing for information sharing unrelated to the mission, but he offers anyway. ]

( Cathaway offered me the information with the intention of sharing. )

[It was an odd matter of "not having gotten around to it yet," as her first choice would have been Bruce before he went to sleep.]

( We can meet in the garden. )

( I never feel like I'm sure what Cathaway's intentions are. )

[ He's been asked, why he thought she gave this warning to him, but though he's got more than a few guesses he can't say any of them are right. That ain't the point, though, and he sends a hum of acknowledgement before making his way to the garden. ]

I never said that it was Cathaway's intention. I asked for the information while stating that I intended to share it. [Lexa only offers these words upon arrival. Some part of her is worried (albeit in a strained, distant way) about sharing this information, because it's one thing to know the theory, and another to do it in practice.

She has shared so little with other people here that it's not surprising that she might struggle with that here.]

WISDOM passing on her legacy, her knowledge, and showing a willingness for more	COMPASSION looking upon her people with care, with hope, and understanding a different layer of strength
STRENGTH strength is more than just mere words or mere actions—it is everything	PURPOSE being born for this

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