mental link

[adamance]

WISDOM passing on her legacy, her knowledge, and showing a willingness for more	COMPASSION looking upon her people with care, with hope, and understanding a different layer of strength
STRENGTH strength is more than just mere words or mere actions—it is everything	PURPOSE being born for this

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

[deployed]

[ Her admission doesn't surprise him. It lined up with much of what Bellamy knew of her, whether from previous assumption or from the moments they'd tripped too deeply into each other's heads to avoid seeing such truths. Bellamy recognizes what comes next for what it is: not an insult, but an observation. ]

You aren't the only one.

[ Murphy's face flickers briefly in his mind, there and gone again almost too quickly to register. ]

Can I help you? Now that they're gone, you'll need someone.

[ It's the first time he's offered so explicitly. Their understanding had been unspoken and underscored by their shared affection for Clarke. He'd been content to leave everything between them at that, but the loss of Lexa's brood seems to necessitate something more concrete. ]

[adamance]

[Bellamy's offer isn't surprising. By now, Lexa knows that any lingering connection being defined by Clarke would be nothing more than a ruse, one that they both allowed to remain between them. What she had just said is proof of that: she knows Bellamy Blake as he is, has grown to prefer his presence, and would like to have him continue living. That's why she had bared so much of herself to Murphy, and that's why she holds so much disdain over her failure there.

(She doesn't resent herself for her failure. Lexa is comfortably laying that blame on Murphy's shoulders.)

She looks away for a moment, gaze steady, as she seeks out the correct phrasing of words. Her mind hovers in a weird place between the two of them, both close and distant, like Bellamy is a familiar connection that she's willing to hold on to it.]

I already have you. [The words are simple enough. She looks to him with a focused look moments after.] Just as you've had my friendship from nearly the beginning. [What ire she had for him faded so quickly with the discovery of her death.

Now, it's just a matter of admitting the reality of their bond.]

[deployed]

[ The pause in their conversation doesn't worry him. He senses she's choosing her phrasing carefully. Lexa speaks more deliberately than Bellamy does. That tendency reminds him of Clarke in some moments. It's a trait he's encountered in most leaders, but he can recognize when Lexa is being sincere rather than strategic. They're affirming something between them. It's delicate. ]

I won't let you get in too deep, [ He promises. His mind flickers to Polis, the chipped army that had closed in on them. ] You can count on me for that.

[ There were many things he couldn't be to Lexa. He wasn't her brood, and he wasn't part of her people, not a grounder or Clarke. But he could be a tether. He could anchor her. They could anchor each other. That was as much a return of her statement and an affirmation of trust as he could offer. ]

[adamance]

I already made the choice not to get in too deep. [It's typical of Lexa to find some semblance of something to correct him on, but it feels important to her to clarify that. She knows that Bellamy may not have meant to sound as if he was keeping her from drowning in this existence, that he somehow had the ability to do that himself, but it feels important. Specifying that is necessary.

And maybe it is just for her, but it still aligns with how she's managed to maintain her autonomy thus far. She will continue.]

And remember that I'm not alone. I've never been. The previous Commanders have always been with me.

[deployed]

[ Quantifying absorption into the Nest felt like a futile exercise. It might not be as hopeless as Bellamy regards it, but all he has to conflate the nest with is ALIE, and there had been no way to avoid assimilation there. In Bellamy's view, the nest might take hold more slowly, but giving it an inch was only speeding up the process. ]

This isn't like anything either of us have dealt with.

[ But he thinks he understands what underscores Lexa's conditions. Lexa doesn't allow for dependence the way others may. Bellamy's attempting to take that in stride, rather than bristle defensively. ]

The safeguards we both have might not end up being enough.

[adamance]

I once justified my thinking to Clarke. [The words come slowly, like she's processing how to say this to him. There is a part of her that is tired of living in fear, the same way she had been before Clarke had led her to her bed. Those final moments together had felt like a reprieve, but now she knows that they were nothing more than a promise of what would never come. If she stayed or left, her life there would be over regardless.] That we have to be harsh. That we have to be relentless. Do you know what she told me? That life has to be more than just about surviving.

[After saying these words, her eyes meet Bellamy's. It's a lot to carry, but she has to approach a new philosophy here. Otherwise, they will never succeed.]

We will not win if we treat the Nest as our captors and our Enemy the same way. That's how Mount Weather kept my people weak for over fifty years.

[deployed]

[ Bellamy breaks eye contact when she mentions Mount Weather. They've been so far removed from their world that the mention is an unwelcome reminder. Clarke's hand beneath his on the lever passes through his thoughts before he shakes it away. ]

And you think we're stronger with the Nest.

[ At least Lexa's framing this as a strategic move. Bellamy's attachments are all rooted in emotion; it's happened in spite of his best intentions rather than because he saw an advantage. ]

And that Cathaway's an ally? And Prince?

[adamance]

No. But they are tools that we can use, just as the rest of the Nest is full of people that we can form alliances with. We can't afford to see them any other way, and it's apparent that just the two of us will not be strong enough to defeat this Enemy on our own. [She assumes, given their ability to access and attack so many worlds, that their numbers are much, much higher than anything the Nest will (or has had to) offer. Right now, her approach here isn't only based on utilizing those around her.

It's about living, so that they can seem genuine (and so Lexa can avoid another humiliating sequence of events with someone like General Hux ever again).]