adamance | mental link

( No. )

[Abrupt and short. Things are still discordant between them, after all. Though her issues don't really lie with Misato and more with those from home. Her distance from the Nest lately has been by obligation: partake in the festivities, allow people to admire them as participants on this ridiculous pilgrimage, and cope with the aftermath of Lavellan's death.

And it wasn't the death that was the problem, so much as what it unearthed afterward.

Lexa liked keeping people unaware.]

( Have you made any progress here? Beyond what you apparently did already. ) [A hint of judgment, but what's a conversation with Lexa without that?]

[ The death was only the impetus for wide-ranging change, no matter how Misato tries to dismiss it, pretend that given time, all will return to normal. ]

( I dunno what you think you're doing by being snide, but it's really unnecessary. )

[ She would be the last person to learn that fighting fire with fire is equally useless, equally unnecessary. Even so. ]

( Lakshmi and I had a chat with one of the Seconds to figure out their origin. It's almost like incarnations. Promised children, you know, chosen ones. They say it's not genetic, more spiritual, but that's to be believed or not. )

[ In lieu of reciting the entire rundown, she offers Lexa a fragment of the exchange instead, the key phrases committed to memory. ]

[Lexa decides not to reply to the first half of the statement. Time has passed. Bygones, yes? But the strain of the past few days hasn't left her. It likely won't for a while.

(Again, little or none of it has to do with Misato herself.)]

( My people believed I was chosen because of a spiritual ideal. They were wrong. What they're describing makes it clear that it's unique to these people in some way. Could you hazard as guess as to why? )

[ Like the flip of a card, a flick of the switch, she agrees to dismiss the petty words she had saved on her tongue. Time's running out too fast to spend on pointless tiffs, wiser lips would say. Now, it takes no genius to see how how heavily the weight of being a spiritual ideal lies upon Lexa's shoulders, so she holds back from calling out her own doubts. How foolish it must be to believe in such things as a higher power. ]

( My guess? Some kind of adaptation to this world. Remember: the Hyrypians had to live here for thousands of years before one of them figured out how to mine it, refine it. The Second we spoke to said some "elemental tie" to the planet is a common sign. The pieces line up. )

( Evolution. The result of time itself. It would explain the significance of the pilgrimage. I learned that all Hyrypians have taken this journey. What was once a suspicious act is truly what they deem important. Though I haven't figured out the reason behind the secrecy, or whether that matters. ) [Given the natural conclusion of this, she doubts that it'll matter. (Or her natural conclusions.)

As for the evolution remark: Lexa has lived with a biologist in her head longer than any of the Nest. Recent circumstances have led to her calling upon it when needed, and the information itself, and how readily it comes forward, is supplemented by the Nest experience itself. Lexa knows of the former and is in denial of the latter.]

( If the planet is at fault, there is only one conclusion to be drawn from your findings. )

( I mean, it could just be that they don't want to spoil our fun, you know? )

[ Making light, making small of grander matters is only one form of adaptation. The human mind can only conceptualize systemic threat up to a point, beyond which the problem seems too massive to challenge. She thinks it is the same in this case, how they want to find the one enemy they can take on, when they know full well that it is the universe conspiring against them all. One step at a time. ]

( Conclusion? Or course of action? )

[There's a hint of amusement and little more at the first part. Lexa would be glad to not be toyed with, and that's the fun she perceives in all of this. It's not their fun, but whoever is escorting them on the journey. Then again, she all too keenly understands the frustration of Skaikru in being forced to submit to her people's rituals.

It's one and the same.

(Though Lexa is obviously biased toward her people in this comparison. They are hardly frivolous without reason.)]

( Are they not one and the same? Unless someone has information clearly indicating where the Enemy has taken up, these people will find their war-winning resource suddenly depleted. )

( No, not at all. )

[ Not at all the same. To comprehend something doesn't mean to accept the road presented ahead of them, when she has never let herself settle for foregone resolutions, when she has always made her own road. The course of action revealed is obvious, has been obvious to her from the start, but it will remain the last resort. ]

( Taking the Nectar away from everyone is the easy way out, but we will try a better way first before we get to that. )

( We are still playing someone's game. If you believe we have the means to secure who does or doesn't gain control over the Nectar, I'd prefer to know. Our initial outlined mission was to do that, but I see no progress made toward that. )

[While stubborn and irritable about all of this—about being here, about having to play dumb to gain information, about having to wear a mask and consistently hide who they are, despite being in a culture that despises that, and having to play both strong and weak to come out on top—she genuinely wants to know if they've made progress. There may be something that she does not know, and she can't seek a lead she's unaware of herself.]

( I get being impatient, but it's too early to give up. )

[ Stubborn to a fault. To resort to destroying the Nectar entirely is a kind of defeat, too. ]

( Have you talked to Rhan? She thinks we're making good progress, and she's got something up her sleeves. We can push her on what that is exactly. )

( I have not. I was ... preoccupied for much of the journey over here. ) [Lexa chooses not to specify what that means. She's private enough that admitting her attention wasn't on the road ahead is a major admission.]

( Did she specify where we've made progress? )

[Bellamy's suspicions against Rhan lurk in the back of Lexa's mind. If she thinks they are "progressing," then it may be something to look into.]

[ Preoccupied isn't the word commonly used to describe the likes of Lexa, or herself, and she knows the understatement conceals far more. She also knows digging deeper would be a moot endeavor. She doesn't care enough to, and holds fast to her untested suspicions instead. ]

( Well, in creating distraction to let her do her work, for one. But also in shaking things up, testing the bonds between and within the factions, we're learning a thing or two. )

[ How paltry it all sounds when put to words. ]

( I still want to know what it is she's really working on. )

[Perhaps it's Lexa's arrogance that leads to Misato's words striking a bad chord for her, or perhaps it's just Bellamy's suspicions lingering for some time—either way, she isn't pleased by what she hears. It leaks out before Lexa can realize it.]

( Do you trust her? )

[A more important question.]

[ They could spend their time exploring the bonds within their own faction too. Everyone, even those closest to each other, have their own conflicting motivations. Misato is optimistic, prone to simplification and tunnel-vision mentality, but she isn't naive. ]

( Honestly, Lexa? As much as I trust you. Competence is a given, motives is something else. )

( It's interesting that you use me as a measurement of trust. )

["Interesting"—what Lexa really means to say is, "It's meaningless."]

( Unless it is in terms of whether you think she will act in our best interest. Am I meant to take that from it? )

[This is a genuine question. Lexa's question of trust has nothing to do with faith, but she has no intention of explaining as much to Misato herself. If Rhan doesn't have their best interests at heart, that will have to be determined by other parties.]

( That's exactly what you're meant to take from it. Motives, not competence. )

[ Is there such a thing as questioning the other person's good will while maintaining civility? Misato doesn't even care to walk the tightrope, presenting her view as one tosses a stack of untested accusations on the table. Careless, callous. She doesn't even deign to soften the edges of her next words. ]

( I don't hold that against you. But, like her, I still wonder what it is you're really working on. )

( I cannot speak for Rhan, but I can assure you that I'm not inclined toward such grandiose intentions that my overall goals become unclear. I've nothing to gain from an agenda like that. )

[And—more specifically—she doesn't have the power or foundation to enact anything truly complicated. Her impatience is as it is on the surface: frustrated by the pilgrimage, by her perceived lack of progress, by what solutions she's come up with being thwarted.

Though her impatience itself may fall in the arena of concern over Rhan's motivations from the very beginning. Rhan has no reason to act in their best interest—only her own. That much is certainly clear to Lexa.]

( That's reassuring. )

[ Without a dash of sarcasm, because it is. Misato wears her emotions and intentions so plainly on the surface that she expects others to do the same, all while knowing they don't. Lexa's calmness and intelligence tell her that she must be less like herself than otherwise, but that too is a baseless assumption. ]

( Anyway, I'm wary, let's just put it at that. I know it's easiest to focus on the mission and think that everything's gonna be okay if we get out of this planet alive, but that's not even the worst of it. )

( Our time here wears on us. It always does on these missions. One month may be nothing compared to the span of our lives as they are now, but we are as we have been from the beginning: the blind led by someone who is less than that. If we are truly a distraction, then we should at least be willing participants. We have no reason to trust what Rhan intends because Rhan is hardly part of us. Wariness is the least we should ask for. )

[Lexa knows that she shouldn't speak on Rhan's intentions without speaking to her herself, but that's beside the point right now.]

[ There's something to be said about attempting to draw divisions between what may be a whole. A host may be one thing, so is a brood, but none as complete as the entire nest. That is to say, Misato responds with hesitation, because the difference between Rhan being a part of them, as any other person in the nest is a part of them, is so slight as to be immeasurable. ]

( Let's just keep digging. I don't intend on staying blind until we find the gun already pointing our way. )

( But where do we dig now? )

[To Lexa, there is always a divide, a belief in a nation over anyone who's an outsider. To her, the divisions make sense. Rhan and the others were here for a year spying. That is their own nation (so to speak). The group brought here now is another nation. And so on.]

( Everywhere. Leave no stone left unturned, isn't that what people say? )

( They say that, but sometimes those stones may be wasting your precious time. )

( So is choosing to turn only, say, the blue stones without good reason for ignoring all the others. )

( So you begin to find reasons to narrow down the stones. Means to do so, as well. We're accomplishing nothing because we have been attempting to handle all the stones on this mission, while our guides have had more information than the rest of us. We have no choice but to narrow our focus. )

WISDOM passing on her legacy, her knowledge, and showing a willingness for more	COMPASSION looking upon her people with care, with hope, and understanding a different layer of strength
STRENGTH strength is more than just mere words or mere actions—it is everything	PURPOSE being born for this

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