mental link

[adamance]

WISDOM passing on her legacy, her knowledge, and showing a willingness for more	COMPASSION looking upon her people with care, with hope, and understanding a different layer of strength
STRENGTH strength is more than just mere words or mere actions—it is everything	PURPOSE being born for this

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

[erbier]

( We spoke. Sam insisted we come to agreement moving forward. The consensus was not to act alone. )

[ On one's own... perhaps foolish ideas... ]

[adamance]

( That strikes me as idealistic. Hopefully you can amend that thinking when it's impossible to ask for others' opinions. )

[To be in complete and utter agreement. When she looks at her broodmates, she thinks that's impossible.]

[erbier]

( They fear what Ren and I will do when left to our own devices. )

[ She's sour about it, but it is also just the truth as well. ]

[adamance]

( If you are to resist such actions, you'll have to relearn which are the wrong ones to take. That is part of the problem, isn't it? )

[She'll get to the matter of Ren first, but making it so that Ilde has to act on approval will be difficult: she'll have a hard time telling just what she needs approval for.]

[erbier]

( I attempted to express this to both Cathaway and the Prince. Neither seemed to comprehend in full. I do not know if it is willful ignorance, or if they are too far polarized to see beyond their own ways. )

[ She's irritated with it all, the thoughts clipped and sharp. ]

[adamance]

( I don't think that's the route you need to take. Do you desire to change your perspective? )

[If she wishes to learn, then she can learn. It's not even a matter of morality, but approaching it from a different perspective.

And Lexa decides that if she must take on the task, she will. She assumes (and she doesn't think she's incorrect) that Lexa will trust her perspective.

It's a start.]

[erbier]

[ That is the question, isn't it. She doesn't want to give up her ways. They have kept her alive thus far, to let them go inspires fear inside of her, and yet her ways are rejected as barbaric, which they are. Valued, but only when dictated to her. Frustration wells inside of her, smoldering. ]

( What choice is there. )

[adamance]

( I understand your frustration. But there is a difference between giving up who you are and adapting to a different life to survive. As the leader of my people, I've had to do it many times. To adapt our old ways to new ones, even though it always feels like a sacrifice. )

[Lexa has made the stubborn decision to never reject the life she lived before this one. There are vehicles she will never pilot, and weapons she will never hold: for her, it's as simple as that.

But she imagines that it's different for Ilde. Where Lexa already decided long ago to use her adaptable mind to help her people, Ilde hasn't yet embraced that notion.]

[erbier]

( A truly impressive feat. )

[ Ah... well. Even Ilde can be childish and irritable. ]

[adamance]

( I am not offering you my assistance lightly, Ilde. )

[Lexa can be patient with people who are both childish and irritable, she just doesn't feel like it most of the time. Especially when she's putting herself out there.]

[erbier]

[ The pressure of her own name sits on her chest, forcing her to remember herself. It feels like a trap suddenly cinching tight. She can't do this to herself. Can't work herself up in this way, her thrashing is only doing her more harm. ]

( I know. I'm sorry. )

[ Genuine, but flush with pain. Her inexperience makes every shard of mirror past her defenses bleed all the more. ]

[adamance]

( Consider my offer. I know the burden of survival. I can do what I can so that you can move freely here. )

[She doesn't expect it to be accepted now. The sentiments passed to her by Ilde tell her that she is possibly too emotional to make a decision at the moment. Lexa doesn't have those same emotional waves (at least, in the sense that it comes with unsteady lashing out), but she knows that they are difficult to overcome to come to a point of rationality.]

[erbier]

( I will. I just... )

[ Her thoughts pull back, deciding not to try to explain herself. She needs a little more time, to consider all that she has discussed with Cathaway, with Prince, with Ren, with Angel, with Lexa. There is a great deal, all vying for her understanding. ]

( I will. )

[ Just a little more time. ]

[adamance]

[She had sensed exactly this, and that this would be necessary.]

( No matter what you choose, please keep me informed. I do not wish for this experience to be more difficult for you. )

[It's a kindness, but everything with Lexa comes with multiple layers. She wants the other Hosts to manage so that they can work as a unit that doesn't inconvenience one another. She does not judge Ilde for her failings, believing them to be the result of where she came from before. But still, she wants her to struggle less here, and she's not above doing something that benefits herself as well.]